I need to stop googling. I am obsessed with googling thing like "clomid and sperm improvement". I read studies that say there is no scientific evidence that Clomid help sperm quailty and then I find myself on the fertility message boards reading about other people's experiences and I'm driving myself crazy.
One woman swore up and down that when her husband removed soy from his diet, his sperm quality increased and I seriously thought about not making the healthy turkey meatballs that I drizzle in this yummy soy dressing, but that's just ridiculous.
I never thought I would have to google about how to improve sperm quality - ugh. It's going to be a long week until we get the results!
I have thrown myself into eating healthy and working out the past few weeks. I had great success the first week - I was down about 8 pounds. The second week? Eh, so far I've gained a little less than a pound.
Seriously?
It's not possible because I've only between consuming between 1,200 - 1,400 calories per day and I've worked out the past 13 days straight. And I've been doing hard workouts where I burn a minimum of 500 calories.
I looked up my BMR (which was figured just using my weight, height, gender and age) and it is around 2,500. So if I burn 2,500 calories a day doing nothing and add in my exercise, then that's 3,000 calories per day that I burn. If I'm eating 1,500 calories (because I like simple math), then my deficit is 1,500 calories.
You have to burn 3,500 calories to lose a pound. I would do that in approximately 2 days (but really more like 1.5 since I eat less and burn closer to 800 calories per workout).
There are other factors - like muscle-building, water retention, etc - but the bottom line is that I just want to see a smaller number on the scale. I wish I wasn't so tied to the scale but it's the only "proof" I have that I'm losing weight - it's too early to see a difference in my clothes.
I'm feeling better though - I like eating "clean" and working out again. I'm getting more energy and I'm feeling more in shape - sort of like I did when I trained for my half marathons. Part of me wanted to go for a run today, but I was so tired from my 1.5 hour workout this morning (deep water aerobics, which sounds easy, but I do it without a belt to hold me up, so I tread water the entire time - the instructor said that I probably burned at least 1,200 calories, but I don't know for sure - myfitnesspal said it was about 800, so that's what I went with).
Steve is desperate for a "cheat meal" so I told him if he agrees to swim a mile with me tomorrow then we can make homemade pizza (so good and not really bad for you - just higher in calories that my usual dinner) and open a good bottle of wine for dinner. Pizza and wine - sounds so good! I'll be over my 1,200 calories probably (unless I can eat very little for breakfast and lunch), but I think it's good to splurge every once in awhile.
When I lost 100 pounds, I had an all-out cheat meal once a week and still lost 100 pounds in 10 months - 1 bad meal out of 21 a week is still really good. And a fuck of a lot better then I had been doing!
One of the things I hate most about dieting or doing Weight Watchers is how much I think about food - it's really exhausting. I plan and track every bite and every meal and it would be nice to just eat without having to worry about it. But if I don't worry about it, I gain weight. It's a vicious cycle.
I wish I lost a pound with every good decision I make. That just seems so much more fair. For example, last night we went to this outdoor symphony thing with my friends, who were eating chips, cookies, sub sandwiches and drinking beers. I had grilled chicken, veggies a 64 calorie beer (just one) and a 90 calorie sugar free brownie.
Seriously? That should be an automatic loss of a pound, right? Not a gain of one!!
Part of me thinks I should have just had a fucking cookie...
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