I'm updating before I delivered - I was beginning to wonder if that would happen. Not because I think labor is near, but because I'm so lazy and tired all the time.
I have accomplished quite a bit since my last post, but I definitely have much less energy than I did before. I listened to everyone when they told me that I have "plenty of time" and didn't do much to get ready for the baby before 35 weeks. Unfortunately around then, everything changed for me. I went from not really feeling that pregnant (I had heartburn, trouble sleeping, etc, but physically I felt fine), to feeling so lazy and tired and sore all the time. It made getting things ready for MT a lot more difficult. Lesson learned for my next pregnancy!
I have had a total of 4 non-stress tests now because of lack of movement. Seriously, having an anterior placenta sucks. Every time he's fine, but sometimes I go 24-36 hours without really feeling him (or not feeling him "at least 5 times in an hour") and it's just so frustrating and time-consuming (each time takes about 2-3 hours and costs about $300 - which of course it's worth it, but just being able to feel him like every other person would be a hell of a lot more convenient!). Hopefully I won't have to have any more before he's here!
I also had 3 baby showers, and they were all so nice and I'm so grateful to have people in my life who love me. The first one was my work shower. I've only worked there since September and I was shocked at how much they did. The rented out a room in a restaurant and about 20 people were there. There were lots of presents, cake, etc. They also invited a few of my previous co-workers (I worked at another school prior and they are HUGE rivals - and I was recruited so there was a little animosity there) - they all mingled together and it was fine. It was all so thoughtful and unexpected!
My second shower was thrown by my 5 best friends, of which 3 are pregnant too. I had other friends there, my mom and her friends (who are close family friends), my family and Steve's mom. My friends went above and beyond - the games were fun (there were paper bags that each had a letter that spelled Baby Hoffman and guests had to guess what was in each bag - the letter stood for what was in the bag - ex: B was Butt Paste - and I got to keep all the baby items inside; they also had everyone bring a big and they hung them up and everyone voted on their favorite and now I have plenty of really cute bibs), the brunch and cake were so good and MT got lots of good stuff - things we really needed.
My last shower was with Steve's family (and Steve went too). He has a really big family and it was such a nice shower as well - fun games again (classic ones - guess the baby food, melted candy in diapers), a good lunch and wonderful gifts for the baby. And we hadn't seen his family since our wedding (which makes me feel so badly, but they are so big they don't get together as a huge group very often - and I sort of have the feeling that his mom is the odd one out, so they don't really get invited to stuff often), but luckily there is a graduation party (for all the high school graduates in his extended family this year - that's how big his family is), a bridal shower and a wedding, so I'll see them three times between June and August.
The nursery is "done." It's not that exciting, but everything is washed and put away and ready for MT. Boy nursery stuff just isn't as cute. Neither are the clothes. It does get better once they get older, but the 0-6 month stuff isn't all that fun. There are definitely some cute things, but overall girl stuff is so much better.I was so bummed about it for awhile and I realized that I'm mostly bummed because I have never had an easy time shopping.
I've been plus sized most my life, so that limits me right there. Then I discovered that there are even less plus sized maternity stores (thank goodness I am still only around 15 pounds gained - I can still wear many non-maternity tops). And even my bra size limits me (typically a 36 DDD, but my nursing bra is a J - seriously? It's awful and huge and even though I found ones that didn't resemble turtlenecks, they're not sexy and really tall - I hope I don't have to buy a new summer wardrobe because most of my summer dresses are not high cut. But even being a DDD, there aren't a lot of cute bras. And now, with having a boy, there are not as many cute choices that girls have. And 75% of the baby stores are dedicated to girls and then there are a few racks for boys.
Blah, blah, blah - clearly I just need to lose weight and get a breast reduction, but for now, I'll just complain about it :)
Of course I don't really know what I'm doing - there are cute little shorts, button down shirts, etc for baby boys, but I didn't buy much of that stuff, because I don't think it looks comfortable for a newborn. I have a few of those, and he'll wear them if we're out at a cookout or something, but I think he'd be much happier in a soft onsie (I would be!). Maybe by the middle/end of summer he'll be able to wear that stuff more. But while he's a newborn, I don't think he needs to be wearing jeans. That just seems silly to me.
So yeah, all the big stuff is done - car seat/bases installed, birth classes are done, we met with the nurses at the hospital and went over our birth plan (more on that), everything washed and cleaned and I think we have almost everything we need. And our hospital bags are halfway packed (everything except clothes because I don't have a lot to choose from, so I'm wearing what I'll be taking to the hospital - hopefully I'll have time to do laundry and pack them before we have to leave).
Smaller stuff didn't get done - I really wanted to get the carpets cleaned and do a deep cleaning of the house (windows, baseboards, oven, blinds, etc). I'll be home for 3 months and I figure I can do it then. Probably not at first, but eventually I'm guessing. I still have no idea what it'll be like to have a newborn!
So I'm feeling pretty at ease with our birth plan. Of course I know that anything can happen so I need to be prepared to not follow my plan at all. My "dream birth" (aside from it not hurting at all and MT being safe and healthy), would be a drug-free one. I highly doubt that will happen (considering I didn't do anything to prepare for it), but I'm going to go as long as I can without an epidural. I also requested a room with a tub to labor in, a birthing ball, wireless monitors (so I walk around the floor), water to drink (doctor had to approve - otherwise you get ice chips only and I hate being thirsty), and a birthing bar (meaning I can sit up and hold on to the bar while I'm pushing - even with an epidural). They also agreed to skin-to-skin after and delayed cord cutting (just until it stops pulsating). I was a little shocked at how "progressive" the hospital was. I just didn't want to be bed-bound for 18 hours and if everything goes well, I shouldn't be.
Hopefully all of the above will make me feel "in control" enough to avoid having too much anxiety or panic attacks.
Lastly, I would much prefer not to be induced (because it makes the odds of me needing an epi or c-section higher), but I also don't want to go past my due date, so I have 14 days to go into labor.
For the last 2 appointments, I was 60% effaced and 1 cm dilated. That doesn't really mean anything, but I was sad I didn't progress any more last week. I've been walking, bouncing on my birth ball and I might try accupuncture next week (which I heard was really effective). Of course nothing works unless your body is ready to go into labor and I don't think mine is. I haven't dropped yet and I haven't had contractions really and not even that many Braxton Hicks. I haven't lost my mucus plus and I haven't had my bloody show. Of course I could go into labor without any of that happening, but those would be good signs!
My mom went into labor today with me (2 weeks early) in her pregnancy, so I keep hoping I'll take after her. Truth be told, I'm not ready this week. I need to finish up work and Steve's last day is next Monday, so ideally we'd go a week from Tuesday or Wednesday. Of course we could also be induced one of those two days (we have to decide by Wednesday). I would be 39 weeks and a few days - he's perfectly ready to come into the world now but I know that at least 39 weeks is ideal. My doctor said "nothing good happens after 40 weeks," so she doesn't really want me to go over much (a couple days at most).
Crazy how soon he'll be here. Of course I'm so excited, but also a little nervous about how much my life is going to change. I hope I'm ready. There are times when people talk about summer vacations or concerts (we live about 10 minutes from an outdoor ampitheater that has the big summer shows - DMB, etc), and I get a little pang of sadness when I think about what we'll be missing, but I've been doing the same shit for so many years that I don't think it'll be that hard to give up. I'm imagining lots of time on the back deck with my husband and MT and that sounds great to me too.
It's just a little...weird now. I feel like I have a ticking time bomb over my head and it can literally go off at any second and when it does, my life will forever be different. I wish I just knew when it was going to happen. I like being prepared (and in control).
Okay, the next time I update, it'll be with my birth story! Exciting!!!!!!!
