I really need to update this more!
So much has happened since my last update at 17 weeks. Everything is fine overall though. We had our high resolution ultrasound (we ended up with two actually since Mega Tron didn't fully cooperate - they couldn't see his spine or hands) and everything looked good. He measured a little big - 85th percentile, but babies grow at such different rates, he could be back in the normal range now (I was 4.5 pounds full term and Steve was 6 pounds so I have a hard time believing we'll have a 10 pound baby).
I also found out I have an anterior placenta, which means the placenta is in front of the baby (against my belly). It's not a huge deal, but it does mean I can't feel him as much. Sadly I will never be able to do kick counts and I rarely feel him during the day (when I'm at work or walking around). I pretty much only feel him if I'm laying down. The silver lining is that I'll never be one of those women who complain about the baby keeping her up all night because of the kicking. But, I wish I could feel him more - I would take that over feeling nothing.
To be fair I do feel him most days, but I definitely am missing out on some of that bonding experience by not feeling him very much...I still don't *feel* pregnant and still have a really hard time believing that I'll all of this will result in a baby in 11.5 weeks.
He was moving and kicking quite a bit during the ultrasound though, so I know he moves in there!
My two appointments since have been fine...nothing unusual. I had my gestational diabetes test yesterday and it was fine (I'll get the results tomorrow). I was a little worried about drinking the sugary drink with my anxiety (I haven't have caffeine in years and try to avoid stimulents), but I only had a racing heart for about 10 minutes. I hope I pass so I don't have to do the 3 hour test (or put Mega Tron at risk and have to avoid carbs and sugar the next 11 weeks!).
My doctor gave me the option of inducing a week early while she's on call (because of my anxiety - she thinks she should be there) - or even doing an elective c-section if I decide I can't handle labor. I don't want to do the c-section and am even a little hesitant about inducing. I'm going to wait and see how I feel and how I'm progressing. If the week before I'm partially dilated and effaced, then my chance of having a c-section during induction will reduce, but if there is no sign of labor starting then I'm going to wait.
That being said, I won't go much past my due date...my cousin refused induction when she was late and her baby died as a result. I'm not sure if the cord wrapped around or if there wasn't enough fluid, but I don't feel comfortable going much past (especially since I can't feel him moving much to know he's okay). I'd rather have a c-section than not have a healthy baby!!!!
My mom went early (from a few days, to 2 weeks) with my brothers and me, so I'm hoping that I'll just go in my 38-39 week and the decision will be out of my hands. I like my doctor, but I'm not sure that having her there will make my anxiety less. I honestly think the best thing for me will be to labor naturally as long as possible until I can't stand it anymore (being induced reduces this possibility and can make labor last longer). A big part of my anxiety revolves around not being in control and having an epidural and not being able to walk sounds horrible to me.
I sort of compare it to my root canal - I never had tooth pain, so to me the procedure seemed completely pointless. And I had a complete meltdown when they tried to do it, which meant I had to go back drugged and on laughing gas. My theory is that if I had horrible tooth pain, I wouldn't have cared because I would have wanted relief. I think that same theory will apply to child birth. I think it'll be good for me to be in pain and beg for drugs because then I won't care if I can't walk. I have a high pain tolerance so maybe I'll be able to do the whole thing without drugs, but I doubt it (especially since I haven't read about it or done any type of natural birth prep).
Physically I've been okay. My morning sickness has completely gone and even my stuffiness has mostly gone (I'm a little stuffy in the middle of the night still). I'm still not sleeping well, and usually go back and forth between the bed and a recliner. I don't really like sleeping on my sides and I get uncomfortable quickly.
I also continued to have trouble with my sciatica - it got to the point where I could barely walk. I tried everything I could to relieve it on my own - yoga, massage, water aerobics, heating pad, walking, ice. Nothing worked and it was getting worse and worse. Out of desperation I went to a prenatal chiropractor (I had never been and was somewhat of a skeptic), and she seriously changed my life.
After one appointment, I was pretty much pain free. Not sure if what I had was sciatica - she described it as my right S1 was twisted out of place when my pelvis was expanding. It was caught in a weird position. She was able to put it back in place and now I can walk, sit, stand, etc without wanting to kill myself. Truly amazing. I'm going to continue to go every 2 weeks just to make sure everything is lined up okay and my body is as ready to go as possible.
Aside from that I have a little constipation again (I'm eating 1 cup of Fiber One a day to help with this, and so far it's working), and either sleep apnea or anxiety dreams. I can see it being either, and I'm guessing that once I'm no longer pregnant it won't be an issue (at least I hope).
Like last night I dreamt I was swimming in a race and swam the entire length of the pool without taking a breath. When I finally got to the wall, I stood up and took a deep breath in and my wet hair was over my mouth and no air was able to get in. I woke up with my heart pounding and felt like I couldn't breathe. I've had a few dreams like that here and there. I have to stand up immediately (see I like to stand up when having anxiety) to take a deep breath and then sleep sitting up in a chair for awhile (I can breathe better when sitting up).
I can see the extra weight/size of my uterus causing sleep apnea, but I can also see it being a result of anxiety. I've been sleeping on 3 pillows so I'm not flat down and I don't take Tylenol PM/Benedryl so I'm not in as deep of a sleep (this is recommended to avoid for people with sleep apnea).
So between sleeping on my sides (which hurt my hips), blowing my nose/sneezing fit once per night, going back and forth between the chair and bed, my sleep apnea/anxiety and sciatica (which is better now, but was seriously horrible for about a month), I can't say I'm sleeping well. I'm pretty sure my sleep will be better with a newborn honestly. Having my body back and sleeping anyway I want sounds heavenly! Even if it is only for an hour or two at a time (I never go more than 4 hours at a time now anyway).
I'm slightly proud and shocked by my weight gain...I've only gained 13 pounds, so with my 20 pound first trimester loss, I'm still 7 pounds below where I started. And I weigh less than I did on our wedding day (which doesn't say much). I haven't really been watching what I eat too much and I barely work out (mostly because of my sciatica - it only got fixed last Friday) anymore. I am not going crazy, but for the first time in my life I'm just eating and not counting calories, points, etc.
Like today I had Fiber One, milk and a banana for breakfast. Lunch was leftover homemade spaghetti and meatballs with a pear and dinner was two all beef hot dog roll ups and oven baked fries. I had a handful of low fat popcorn and one cookie as a snack (baby LOVES sugar - it's horrible. I've never had a sugar addiction and now I feel sorry for people who love chocolate - it's terrible liking it so much. I hope this disappears after the baby is here).
So nothing too crazy, but not super healthy either. It could be better, but it could be worse. Most of my friends who are 7-9 weeks behind me have gained more than I have.
I still don't look that pregnant though. My stomach is definitely rounder and bigger, but I think I just look fatter. I asked my doctor about it yesterday and she said that part of it was because it's my first and part of it is because I was plus sized before getting pregnant so it hides it more (which makes no sense - you would think putting a basketball sized uterus on top of fat would make me look huge, but it doesn't). It kind of stinks, but honestly being smaller is easier on my back and lungs and I'm still relatively comfortable. I have no swelling, varicose veins, etc. And I heard I'll just start getting bigger and bigger every week - and you don't see a lot of full term pregnant women who don't look huge (regardless of their starting size). I should enjoy these next few weeks probably since I'm sure I'll just get more and more uncomfortable.
I start going to the doctor every 2 weeks now, so that means I have 7 more appointments before Mega Tron is here. I think it's going to go quickly and slowly all at the same time. I have 2 baby showers, a huge work event, a wedding and I'm hosting a baby shower all in the month of March. Crazy.
We bought our crib, dresser, glider/ottoman for the nursery. I also have a rug and curtains and a bedskirt and sheets and a big cozy blanket to wrap us both up in when feeding. I'll post pictures when it's finished. There's not really a theme - I didn't find any boys bedding/theme that I loved so I just bought individual pieces that I really liked. I guess the "theme" is primary colors since everything ties together that way. I hope the end result looks good.
We signed up for four classes and finished two of them (CPR and breastfeeding). We have newborn care and childbith prep left - hopefully they'll be really informative and will help us feel more ready. We're seriously clueless. It's almost humorous.
We are having an elective 3D ultrasound on Friday - well, unless we cancel. Because of the stupid anterior placenta, we might not get good photos - it just depends on if he's pressed up against it or not. It's $170 non refundable so it's a gamble. I think I'll regret it if we don't try though. We haven't picked out a name still and I'm hoping that a glimpse at his little face will help us figure it out.
I think that's everything for now. Lots has happend and a lot more will happen before he's here. 11.5 weeks until my due date - that's crazy to me! I'm in my 3rd trimester and still can't believe that I'm pregnant.
If I keep updating at my current rate, I'll only have one more update before he's born - ha. I'll try to be better these next few weeks.
