Whole30

I am starting a Whole30 tomorrow - my first, and I'm pretty excited.

A brief history about me. I'm relatively healthy - especially for someone who is overweight. I don't have high blood pressure, I'm not diabetic or pre-diabetic, my cholesterol isn't too bad (considering my entire family is on medication and I'm not, although it is a little higher than it should be), I don't have any major health issues, etc. I'm incredibly lucky because today, I weigh 304 lbs. That's a lot for anyone, but especially a 37 year old 5'7" female.

I have battled with weight my entire life and I have come to terms with 2 things:

1. I will never ever ever ever ever be able to wear many things (2 piece bathing suit, mini skirt, midriff top, etc - although at 37 that probably wouldn't be something I would choose at this point in my life anyway) due to lose skin, stretch marks, etc. I have done permanent damage to my body.

2. I will never look super thin. I will never be supermodel skinny. Unless I'm dead and have been dead for awhile. I don't have that body type. I'm curvy. Kim Kardashian curvy. It's fine. It's in, so I guess that's good. Hopefully curves and butts don't go out of style any time soon.

About 7 years ago, I lost 109 lbs. I started at 309 and got down to 200. I looked good. And yes, I realize that 200 is most people's starting point, but it didn't look bad on me. I was a solid size 12, but most importantly I was healthy and in shape. I had blood work done and I was perfect - all my hormone levels, etc. - perfection. The doctors were really impressed. I was running 30 miles a week, lifting weights and I ran 9 half marathons.

But, I was still considered to be morbidly obese by the official guidelines, which really pissed me off for awhile, but I realized that this was probably my best. I was happy. And healthy. And in shape.

I kept it off for a few years and then 4 years ago, I met my husband (gained weight while dating) and then after we married, we started trying to have kids. In the last 2.5 years, I've been pregnant almost the entire time - miscarriage, baby, miscarriage and baby. I have been pregnant the entire month of August for the past 3 years. That has taken such a toll on my body.

I miscarried the first while working out, so I never worked out again while pregnant. It wasn't worth the risk to me. I was so sick during my first successful pregnancy that I lost 20 pounds. And then gained 40 after he was born because it was so nice to be able to eat again. I lost the additional 20, had a miscarriage, got pregnant again and gained 40 pounds with Charlotte. It was worth it - not feeling like death for 9 months is worth 40 pounds!

My weight has settled around 285 the past few years until now. 304. I'm 5 pounds away from my all time high (well, except when I was pregnant with Charlotte but I don't count that).

But more than that, I hurt. I had PGP while pregnant with Charlotte and it hasn't gone away. I'm sluggish and slow and I miss feeling good. Feeling in shape. Having energy. Now that I have kids, it's more important than ever for me to be healthy and in shape.

The problem is I haven't felt motivated to do anything about it - until now. I have high hopes for the Whole30 - and the focus of this blog for the next 30 days is to chronicle how I feel and how it's going.

Here is what I would like to happen:

1. Weight loss. I have hope that I will lose a lot. In the past, my personal experience has been that when I gain a lot quickly, I also lose a lot quickly. I would love to see 279 at the end of this. I realize that is 25 pounds, but I am hopeful. 279 because I haven't been able to break out of the 280's in a few years I think going below that will help keep me motivated.

2. Reduce inflammation in my joints and ligaments. Supposedly this will improve too. If I can greatly reduce my pain, that would make me so happy! Not sure this will help my PGP, but I hope so!

3. Have more energy and sleep better. I have 2 kids under the age of 2. I don't need to be awake at night when they're asleep. And I want to keep up with them.

4. Reduce my addiction to chocolate. I used to not like chocolate. Most of my life, I never gave it a thought and never snacked on it. I went years without eating a single piece of Halloween candy. During my pregnancy with Van, I craved it and now it's like crack to me. Truly, it's awful. I used to think people with chocolate cravings were ridiculous and now I realize that's no joke. Supposedly the Whole30 will cure my addiction.

Bottom line, I want to be healthy, feel better and lose weight.

I just hope I can not eat dairy, sugar, grains, legumes and alcohol for 30 days. Cheese and alcohol will be the hardest. And I don't even drink that much, but I've basically had to avoid alcohol the past 2.5 years so it'll be hard to give it up again. But I've had plenty of practice, so it'll be fine.

I planned and prepped for the upcoming week. I am going to follow the rules as much as I can. I will admit that there are 3 things this week that I will eat that are not 100% sugar-free. I bought nitrate and preservative free bacon and sausage, but there are still trace amounts of sugar in both. I also could not find a sugar-free Dijon mustard (all I've seen are made with white wine). Regular yellow mustard is sugar-free, so I could use that instead, but yellow mustard lime chicken doesn't sound nearly as appealing as Dijon mustard lime chicken.

I have since read how to make your own homemade breakfast sausage without sugar and read that I can maybe buy sugar-free bacon at a butcher shop (or use pancetta instead). I will do both of these next week.

I am going to follow the rules the best I can, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to find a food item. I don't have time. I work full-time, have 2 babies and I live in the Midwest (meaning I would think that people who live in bigger cities or in more progressive cities would have more access to these types of food). That being said, I have a Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Fresh Market, Fresh Thyme and multiple large grocery chains in my city. However, I don't have time to go to all of them each week (and they are spread out. Even though Whole Foods is in my city, it would take me 40 minutes to get there). I think once I start and see what I like, I can go and buy in bulk for the rest of the month. At least I hope so.

This week I made it to Trader Joe's and Kroger and I am missing 3 things I wanted for this week:

ghee
dried coconut (with no sugar added)
ranch dressing (Whole30 compliant, Whole Foods or online)

But I can live without those until I shop again this weekend. Although I still don't really know what I'm doing and Trader Joe's was NUTS on a Saturday - especially with a stroller and a kid in a cart. I felt pressure to keep moving and didn't really get to look at what I wanted.

I'm excited for tomorrow. I'm really hoping this is the push I need to get that fire again. When people asked me how I lost so much weight the first time (100 lbs in 10 months), it really wasn't hard because I was so motivated. I haven't been able to find that motivation the past few years.