Birth Story

So when we left off I was 38 weeks pregnant and not feeling all that perky. Looking back, I don't really think my pregnancy was that awful, but I know it was...it really is funny how you forget. I was nauseous and dizzy for months, I had food aversions the entire 9 months, I had wicked heartburn that I didn't get figured out until the last month, I didn't sleep at all and I had terrible aches and pains - including awful knee pain the last few months that brought me to tears many times.

How is that not awful (and yes, I do realize that it could have been worse - at least MT was healthy)? Although to be fair, a few of these things I can (hopefully) avoid the next time. I now know that I can take Pepcid AC for the heartburn and it's almost 100% effective. I also know that if I have awful back/sciatica pain, that the chiropractor can fix it. I had my knees x-rayed after I gave birth (they were more painful after and hurt like hell for about 3 weeks and then one day...gone - no pain at all) and I have weak knee muscles and need to start spinning before I get pregnant (and then keep spinning during pregnancy!).

I can't do anything about the morning sickness or food aversion, but since I lost all my baby weight two weeks after giving birth, I'm a little grateful that I didn't gain a lot because of that.

It really is amazing how you feel completely normal (with the exception of my knee pain - seriously after I gave birth, the nurses would ask my pain level and each time the only pain I had was knee pain - it was way worse than the stitches!) almost immediately after. While I was pregnant, I honestly thought I would never sleep or eat again - I was wrong!

And yes, for all those people who kept saying, "Just wait - it only gets worse!" when I complained about not sleeping when pregnant - you're wrong. I sleep much more now - I probably got about 4 hours a night while pregnant, and now I'm back up to 8+ hours (6 in a row and then 2 - 4 after a quick 30 minute nursing session).

But, my birth story...let's start with the week leading up to it.

I did everything I could think of - two acupuncture sessions, a chiropractor appointment, walking in the pool, spicy foods, exercise ball, red raspberry leaf tea - and when I went into my last appointment (Wednesday, April 10th), nothing had changed. MT was still up high and I hadn't dilated or effaced any more. I was so discouraged, but I was also done. We went ahead and scheduled an induction for Tuesday morning (April 16th).

My doctor told me to relax over the weekend, have a glass of wine and to stop trying to make things happen.

The next day, Thursday, was my last day of work before maternity leave. I went to the bathroom around noon and noticed a glob of mucus and a little blood. I'm not sure if you've ever google-imaged "bloody show" or "mucous plug" (don't!), but the photos are scary. Mine was just a little of each (and nothing like the photos!), so I wasn't 100% sure that's what it was, but I figured it probably was. I had read online that this late in pregnancy, it was a definite sign of labor and usually it happened within 48 hours.

Later that night, I had more blood, but nothing happened, and nothing happened on Friday or Saturday either (well, I had my glass of wine Saturday night and it was heavenly!)...not until midnight on Saturday/Sunday at least. I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed that my underwear was a little wet. Not a lot, but it was unusual (I had not peed unintentionally my entire pregnancy) - I figured the baby was on my bladder, but hopped on google to make sure I didn't have a slow leak (I read that amniotic fluid has a sweet smell and that even if it's a slow leak, that once you get up, it will come out).

So I laid back down and got up 30 minutes later and nothing else came out (and it wasn't sweet smelling). At that point I figured I hit a new low and wet myself a little. I went back to bed, couldn't sleep (not surprising) and started to read a book. Within a few minutes, I had a sharp pain, which was definitely a contraction. I had contractions for about 4 hours before I woke Steve up (he had to go to work on Sunday, and since he's a firefighter, he can't just call in sick). I had been timing them and they were all over the place -  8 minutes apart, then 4 (!) and then 25, etc.

He reluctantly went to work and then came home a few hours later after talking with his co-workers. But nothing changed. I did call the on-call doctor, but she never called me back. He eventually went back to work and my mom came over to spend the night with me.

Something else to note - sometime that morning, I noticed that whenever I went to the bathroom, there was a lot of clear liquid on the toilet paper and also dark brown mucus (but a lot of it). I thought I was having more of a bloody show.

Around 3:30, my mom and I were playing keep away with the dog in the backyard (shows you how far apart my contractions were at this point - they were strong ones though - to the point I had to bend over and breathe through them), when I noticed fluid bubbling out of me - just a few little bubbles. My mom was so nervous all day - she kept encouraging me to call the doctor back, but I figured she was just busy and would call when she could. At that point she insisted, so I called the service back and told them that it had been hours and hours and I never received a cal back from the doctor, and they were shocked. My phone rang about 30 seconds later and the doctor told me to come in for a quick test to determine if it was amniotic fluid.

Let me say that if I didn't live 45 minutes away from the hospital (and didn't go there several times a week the past few weeks already - non-stress tests every other day since MT didn't move hardly at all at the end - it sucked so bad!), I probably would have called sooner. I really need to pick a closer hospital next time!

I 100% thought I was leaking urine, but my mom thought it was probably fluid, so she made me get our bags, get the house locked up like I wanted it, get the animals ready for her to pick them up later, etc. I called Steve and told him what I was doing and told him I would call him back later with the results.

I got to the hospital around 5:00 and was immediately tested...not only was it amniotic fluid, but the brown substance was meconium (MT's poop) leaking out - not good! They told me that since I had been leaking for so long (you're not really supposed to go past 24 hours), I had to be induced right away, so I was in  bed and hooked up to everything within an hour probably.

Ironically enough, I told the nurse (who did the fluid test) that I wasn't leaking fluid, but after they confirmed that it was and I got up to walk to the room, fluid gushed all over the floor and I looked like a liar - sort of funny.

I started out with a bag of antibiotics since the fluid had broken and there was meconium present. Steve got to the hospital right as they started the pitocin and they upped my dose every 10 minutes - they told me if anything went wrong, I would probably have to have a c-section because I didn't have extra time.

At this point I had been contracting for 20 hours, so I figured I could go a long time without an epidural - yeah, that didn't happen. Holy shit, contractions are awful!!!!! I called for an epidural after an hour or so. It took the guy three attempts to get it in (so yes, I had the long needle in my back three times, which didn't bother me then, but my back hurt the next day). Did I have instant relief? Yes and no - for some reason my blood pressure dropped to 80/30 and I almost passed out, so they gave me some drug that made me shake violently for hours. I had to clench my jaw to keep my face from shaking and ended up with a headache. Because of the shaking, I couldn't sleep. Steve slept while I just laid there for a few hours.

They did have to do an internal monitor (attached heart rate monitor on his head) because he wasn't cooperating (he was a pain in that department until the bitter end!). That was a relief though because before that the alarm kept going off because he would move away from the monitor on my belly. Between the alarm and the automatic blood pressure cuff (seriously it took my blood pressure twice every 30 minutes until after he was born!!!!!!!!), I'm not sure I would have been able to sleep anyway.

At one point the nurses came running in and put an oxygen mask on me and were all worked up over something. They told me that the baby's heart rate had a sudden, huge drop, but that after a minute or so it went back to normal. Scared me! It was right around then though, that I was in the most pain of my life. It was like all of a sudden my epidural had worn off. Keep in mind all this is happened with in a few hours. I think I started the pitocin around 8:30 pm, so this was probably around 2:30 am or so.

I called the nurses in and told them that I needed another epidural and they thought I was ridiculous and even got a lecture about how if I couldn't handle it, then I would have to do a c-section. I asked if they would check me to see if something happened and they agreed even though "they had just checked me not even 30 minutes ago." The nurse that checked me immediately called in another nurse to verify that I did indeed go from 5 cm dilated to 10 cm in less than 30 minutes. That's the reason why his heart rate dropped and I was in intense pain - it all happened almost too quickly.

I got more drugs and was comfortable and even though technically I was ready to push, they wanted me to wait an hour or so because he hadn't dropped enough yet. At 4:15 the nurse came back in and I was ready to push because he was farther down.

At this point, I was so tired - I had been awake for 28 hours and had been having contractions for that long. I did 3 sets of pushes (around 10 seconds each - nobody counted though - I just pushed as long as I wanted - I liked that) with each contraction and fell asleep in between. I could barely keep my eyes open to push. Pushing wasn't much fun. I was on my back (at an incline) and my legs were in stirrups and I held on to bars on the side to pull myself up (my arms killed the next day).

I pushed and pushed and almost right after I started they could see his head. Steve was in awe, but I was sort of apathetic...I didn't have my glasses on so everything was blurry and I didn't want a mirror. Steve did take a picture (and erased it immediately) so I could see what it looked like - he had lots of hair and it was weird seeing a head coming out of my vagina. For about 30 minutes I pushed and the head would crown and then go back in - I had to push him past the lip and I guess that can take a long time with first time moms.

That was the worst part for me - I would push and push and be so tired, but would hear "We see the head!" and then I would get done and they head would be back inside. Finally the head stayed out and they called the doctor and I wasn't allowed to push anymore until she got there.

On a side note, NICU had to be present at birth because of the meconium - our goal was for MT not to cry when he was born because they didn't want him to breathe in the poop. NICU needed to be there to suck the poop from his lungs and make sure he could breathe okay.

It took the doctor forever to get there. Do you know how hard it is not to push when you have a head hanging out of your vagina and you're having contractions? I honestly thought the baby was going to be born without the doctor. The nurse kept yelling at me to hang on and told me that the NICU staff would not come in without a doctor present.

Knowing that my delivery was a high risk one, and since the doctor took her sweet time getting there (this is the same doctor that was on call earlier that day that didn't call me back), you would have thought they would have had another doctor come in. It's a huge hospital with lots of babies born - the doctor wouldn't have been from my group, but surely that wouldn't have mattered in that moment.

Anyway, the doctor finally got there and in one half-hearted push, he was born. I was sort of in shock I think...Steve had the appropriate response - tears of joy and excitement. I literally had no reaction. Plus I couldn't see him well without my glasses and they took him right away (he did cry immediately of course). Steve went with him (NICU did everything in our room) and it took awhile for the placenta to come out. Steve said at one point he turned around and the doctor was literally yanking on the umbilical cord to pull it out. That grossed him out more than anything else.

Then I had to get a few stitches, but at that point the epidural had worn off some and I could feel it. It hurt but I didn't really care - I didn't want to wait for more drugs - I just wanted everyone to get away from my vagina. She sewed me up and I had to lay there and wait for NICU to finish. Luckily MT was fine and he didn't have to go up to NICU. After all that, they finally laid him on my chest. He was covered in poop - like it was in his hair, in his ears, under his fingernails - oh the blackmail we have on him!

He was born on April 15th at 5:21 am and was 7 lbs 11 oz and 20.5 inches tall. They were shocked that a first time mom, who was not dilated at all, did the whole thing in 9 hours. My doctor told me that I would probably go even faster the next time. I'll take it!

On a side note, my birth was amazingly like my mom's. With my brother, she was on-time (had I known that it was my water breaking, MT would have been born on his due date instead of one day late) and she had a slow leak that she didn't know was her water breaking. She went to her scheduled doctor's appointment that day and her water broke more there (ran down her leg like mine did). Then my brother was born within 12 hours of that. She also had to have pitocin because she never progressed past 1 cm - I didn't either even though I had contractions for 20 hours.

We were in our room by 7:30 am and I was able to walk from the delivery bed to the wheelchair - I recovered quickly and didn't have anything stronger than Aleve for the pain (and honestly it was for knee pain more than anything else).

Our time at the hospital was a little stressful - he lost 10% of his body weight - mostly because he didn't wake up for 12 hours after his circumcision. I think because of that, my milk didn't come in properly (I didn't nurse or pump for that long) and so I have to supplement with formula. I struggled with the baby blues for a few weeks (mostly over guilt of not being able to 100% breastfeed - I do at every meal, but he almost always wants a bottle after - I've been to lactation consultants and to a breast feeding support group and I am about 2 oz short of what he needs each time).

The lack of sleep at first was hard, but I was kind of stupid. I didn't take naps ever - when he was sleeping I was busy doing stuff- cleaning or laundry. I should have slept since I was getting up every 3 hours in the middle of the night. The first month was the hardest - I finally was able to sleep again and being in bed felt sooooo good - getting up to feed him was miserable. I hadn't slept a full night in almost a year, but after 4 weeks, he started sleeping longer and now he goes most the night without waking.

He is 8 weeks today and I love being a mom. It took us a few days to decide on a name, but he is Van. I love it and it suits him perfectly. I was worried since my family didn't seem to like it (it's the first part of my maiden name), but it turns out they loved it but didn't want to influence me. Steve thought he should be Van as soon as he saw him because he looked like me when he cried for the first time. And he looks so much like my dad and his side of the family that he's definitely living up to his name.

We are going to try for baby #2 in a few months. Yes, I know we're crazy, but I want 1 or 2 more and we're older (36 and 40 this year), so we don't have a lot of time to spare. October is when we'll officially start trying again. I also sort of think that if I don't just do it again soon I might not want to do it at all. I just hope I'm not as sick the next time!

Here are a few photos - I'm so in love! I will have to do another post about him and his little personality! I could probably do an entire entry on his lips. And his hair - these photos don't do it justice. It stands on end like he's been electrocuted. No wonder I had heartburn!